Last night, I had the privilege of attending the Maimonides Senior Recognition Night. It has become a Maimonides tradition that on the Thursday night prior to graduation, the twelfth graders and their families gather for a program that highlights each individual graduate prior to the formal commencement ceremonies.
Each graduate was acknowledged for their unique contributions to the grade and to the school, and had an opportunity to share how Maimonides School has impacted them. One senior began his speech by quoting the Rambam (Hilchot Deot 6:1): דֶרֶךְ בְּרִיָּתוֹ שֶׁל אָדָם לִהְיוֹת נִמְשָׁךְ בְּדֵעוֹתָיו וּבְמַעֲשָׂיו אַחַר רֵעָיו וַחֲבֵרָיו, “It is a person’s nature to be drawn in thoughts and actions after his friends and companions.” Boaz pointed out just how much he gained not only from the Torah and general studies learning at Maimonides, but also from his classmates and teachers — and the positive influence they had on his own growth and development.
In my AP Psychology class this year, we studied Solomon Asch’s experiments on conformity. Many are familiar with these experiments, conducted by Asch beginning in 1961. In one famous experiment, the researcher would show three lines of various lengths – labelled 1, 2, and 3 – to a group of eight college students, who were told that they were participating in an experiment about perception. The students were told that they would be shown a few lines, and needed to say which of those lines matched the length of a new line they would be shown.
Unbeknownst to the subject of the experiment, seven of the eight students were confederates, actors who were told to give an intentionally wrong answer. Only one of the eight was the actual “test subject,” and he would be the one to answer last. What would happen when the new line, which obviously matched line 2, was shown, and the first seven students all said that it matched line 3? Would the test subject go along with the group, even when he knew that the correct answer was 2? Would he doubt himself, and perhaps think that his perception was wrong? The shocking results of the study found that over 35% of subjects gave the wrong answer.
As social creatures, our desire to conform and to be in harmony with those around us is extremely strong, as Rambam pointed out hundreds of years ago. This week in Parshat Shelach, we see ten spies stand up and share their belief that the Jewish people cannot conquer the land of Israel. Immediately, two other spies — Kalev and Yehoshua — buck the trend and say that the Jewish people can do this.
According to Chazal, they needed siyatta d'shmaya, targeted divine help, to withstand the pressure of the group. The Talmud in Sotah 34b points out that Yehoshua, whose original name was Hoshea, got extra spiritual help through the extra yud added to his name by Moshe. The Talmud also shares that Kalev gained strength from an impromptu visit to Ma’arat HaMachpela, the burial site of the patriarchs and matriarchs. After all, the two of them were not merely disagreeing with ten other individuals; they were standing against what had quickly become the overwhelming consensus of the entire nation. They had seen the same giants and the same fortified cities in the new land, yet they had the courage to maintain their conviction and to speak the truth as they understood it, even when they found themselves in the minority. But to do so, said Chazal, they required a degree of supernatural support to remain true to their own convictions.
The lesson here, however, is not only about resisting negative influences. According to Rambam, if we are naturally shaped by those around us, then the people with whom we surround ourselves matter quite a bit. The greatest protection against harmful conformity is belonging to a community whose values, ideas, and actions elevate us. When a person is surrounded by friends who strive to grow in Torah, who take learning seriously, who care about chesed, integrity, and serving G-d, then the powerful force of social influence becomes a true force for good.
Listening to the seniors speak last night, I was struck by how many of them described exactly that experience. Again and again, they spoke about classmates who challenged them, inspired them, and helped them become better versions of themselves. They recognized that some of the most important lessons they learned at Maimonides did not come only from textbooks or classrooms, but also from the people around them.
This may be one of our school's greatest accomplishments: creating an environment in which young people positively influence one another and where the natural human desire to belong becomes a catalyst for growth, character, and commitment to Torah values.